2006, Norwich, England, I laid a very good friend to rest. I met her at a gig at the arts center and fell for her there and then. After getting closer, we moved in together, but it didn't last as she was ill (diabetic). She had a fit, but this caused her to fall and crack her head. They pronounced her dead, but when we laid her to rest, it tore me up. I became depressed. None of my friends could get me out the flat. I lost 8 stone and hardly existed. At one point I tried to kill myself, but was too ill; my body rejected it.
It started a few months after. I used to wake up with her voice in my ears, sometimes feeling someone stroking my hair, but I always threw this off as being my mental state. Then one morning, about 10 a.m. during summer, 2007, someone knocked on my door. I was expecting my friend, so rushed to open it -- and there she was! As real as anyone. I started shaking and felt really dizzy, but she edged in and just looked at me. I was sick and broke into a cold sweat, but felt oddly safe, comforted by her presence, even though I was paralyzed.
She gave me a necklace, which I still wear today (it just fell to the floor as I couldn't physically move), but the whole time she said nothing, just smiled. It was the last time anything happened. She hugged me and it felt so warm... then she was gone. I cried for hours and used to hope she'd come back. The necklace was a mystery as it's one I bought her the first night we really went out. We laid it to rest with her as she wore it everyday, and now I like to think she's kind of with me.
I've moved on now. I live with my girlfriend who I love so, so much, and still my friend appears in dreams. Often we talk, but it's never about anything certain; it's usually incoherent. My girlfriend has made me better, so much so I can enjoy happy memories and make many more. It's proven to me death is not the end, so why fear it? Fearing the inevitable is silly.
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